- David Fricke
"He's been suffering from a longstanding and painful stomach condition -perhaps an ulcer- aggravated by stress and, apparently, his screaming singing style. Having eaten virtually nothing over two weeks, Cobain, 25, is strikingly gaunt and frail, far from the stubbly doughboy who smirked out from a photo inside Nevermind. It's hard to believe this is the same guy who smashes guitars and wails with such violence - until you notice his blazing blue eyes and the faded pink and purple streaks in his hair. "Just to survive lately, I've become a lot more withdrawn from the band," Cobain confesses. "I don't go to party after the show; I go straight to my hotel room and go to sleep and concentrate on eating in the morning, I'd rather deal with things like that. Our friendship isn't being jeopardized by it, but this tour has definitely taken some years off our lives. I plan to make changes."
Stress has gotten to Cobain before. He had an onstage breakdown at a 1989 show in Rome, near the end of a particularly grueling European tour. Says Bruce Pavitt, co-owner of Sub Pop Records, Nirvana's first label: "After four or five songs, he quit playing and climbed up the speaker column and was going to jump off. The bouncers were freaking out, and everybody was just begging him to come down. And he was saying, 'No, no, I'm just going to dive." He had really reached his limit. People literally saw a guy wig out in front of them who could break his neck if he didn't get it together." Cobain was eventually talked down.
But rumors are flying about Cobain. A recent item in the music industry magazine Hits said Cobain was "slam dancing with Mr. Brownstone," Guns n' Roses slang for doing heroin. A January profile in BAM magazine claimed that Cobain was "nodding off in mid-sentence," adding "the pinned pupils, sunken cheeks and scabbed, sallow skin suggest something more serious than mere fatigue.
Cobain denies he is using heroin. "I don't even drink anymore because it destroys my stomach," he protests. "My body wouldn't allow me to take drugs if I wanted to, because I'm so weak. All drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem. They're no good at all. But I'm not going to go around preaching against it. It's your choice, but in my experience, I've found they're a waste of time."
- Michael Azerrad
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